Jeppson's Malort 750ML

Current Stock:
UPC: 021037010190
Shipping Cost: Calculated at Checkout
Product of: USA
Varietal/Type: Liqueur
Size: 750ML


Jeppson's Malort 750ML

Jeppson's Malört has the aroma and full-bodied flavor of an unusual botanical. Its bitter taste is savored by two-fisted drinkers. -Producer

5 based on 11 reviews. Leave a Review.
Written by Jennifer on 20th Mar 2018

Not really a smell to be smelled. When you first shoot it - it tastes like any other shot ... then it changes ... it morphs into a floral hop punch to the face x 1000. What is that I taste? A memory? A flower? Gasoline? Nothing you chase it with will help the bitterness leave your mouth. You are strapped in until it slowly disappears. YOLO. ~ Cheers

Liquid Disappointment
Written by Matt on 30th Sep 2017

Everyone should have a shot of Malört just to remind them that every bad decision in their life can be translated into a flavor. It's also a great bottle to keep on your desk at work should anyone try to snag a pour without permission. The five stages of grieving are all experienced. First you deny that you just consumed something that tastes like rotten oranges and pennies. Then you get angry at the person who served you this shot. Bargaining comes in when you try to chase the flavor out of your mouth with literally anything in arms reach, which never works. Depression will come over you as no matter what you do, you can't make the taste leave. Finally you accept your fate, and look forward to sharing this experience with others.

Chicago's Own Liquid Masochism
Written by Alex on 23rd Feb 2017

After having some friends physically shuttle some Jeppson's Malort from Illinois to New York, we decided to take some initiative and order a couple of bottles ourselves for a recent winter trip to Vermont. Malort tastes-- I would imagine-- like sausage made from the small intestines of a long-departed corpse...but in a good way, once you get used to it. Wonderful right out the bottle, as a snow cone, as a fruit marinade, or as a loosening agent in a hair smoothie. After the first tip, you think "There's no way I could finish a single bottle in ten lifetimes" but I will tell you, that assessment quickly changes once the sensation grows on you. Since I am nearly positive the glass itself will disintegrate before the contents inside are compromised, I would say to order a few bottles...just in case.

Best drink to serve someone you hate.
Written by Elliot B Edmunds on 20th Oct 2016

This taste like mildew and amonia.

Kick in the balls
Written by undefined on 30th Jan 2016

I believe that this is distilled from the grass clippings next to the Edens Expressway, It was the kick in the balls that my mouth needed.

It tastes like a gypsy curse.
Written by SOme guy on 20th Aug 2015

It tastes like it ran off of a coal miner's boot. It tastes like getting punched in the face by a fist wrapped in brake fluid and dust. It tastes on your tongue like mace on your eyes. It tastes like sterno and rabbit droppings. It tastes like Donald Trump's bathwater. It tastes like Donald Trump's tongue. It tastes like the whole city of Chicago hates you.

Great conversation starter
Written by Sean on 25th Feb 2015

This is a very interesting liquor. It has almost no smell discerning it from straight alcohol, no hint at its olfactory domination. Me and my friend took it as a shot and both agreed it was very smooth going down. Soon after you get it down a bitterness starts growing, and growing, and growing. It gets VERY BITTER!

Like a curling iron dipped in ear wax
Written by Matt Holt on 10th Dec 2014

Holy crap, this stuff is magic. Really tough to take the first shot, a real gagger. Second shot not a lot better. But, by the third, you're in heaven. I can't really say what happened after, I woke up at home on the floor confused and dizzy.

Malört is fucking AWESOME!
Written by Charles on 13th Nov 2013

I didn't know what to expect. I'd read the commentary from the local "experts." It made me leery and apprehensive. Had I made a bad decision buying this vile, heinous concoction? Only 1 in 49? Seriously?? I was expecting gasoline with overtones of fermented dead rat. When the bottle arrived I treated it as if it were red fuming nitric acid. I cracked the seal, waved the vaporous orifice past my nostrils and awaited the effect... hmmm, that wasn't so bad. Perhaps a drop on the lips... OOOh, it's kinda bitter, a little. Next step: find a shot glass and get serious. I've braced myself, clenched my fist, eyes closed, SLAM IT! Wait... that's actually pretty good! The initial citrus sting is refreshing and the lingering, dry bitterness is oddly satisfying. Three shots later, I'm convinced: this stuff should not be relegated to some ancient Chicago legend. This is the shit! Carl is the man! My problem now is that it's not easy to get Malört in eastern Washington. Maybe someone at LB can hook me up with a direct line?

Nectar of the Gods
Written by T Thinks on 20th May 2013

This stuff is an acquired taste, but it is a taste worth acquiring. After you polish off a bottle of this liquid gold, you will be hooked for a long time!

Leave a Review